How to tell real stories yet protect real people

Once upon a client company, I witnessed loads of well-intentioned professionals miscommunicating with each other in person, print, presentations, etc.

So when they invited me to teach a series of communications workshops to their leaders, I already had a library of recent examples from within their departments. How convenient!

Now, one of my commitments is if using someone’s misstep to share a lesson, I protect their identity.

So I tweaked some IRRELEVANT YET IDENTIFYING details in each story ensuring no one could decipher which colleague did what while preserving the central lesson.

Afterward, one of the feedback forms said, “Great stories, but I wish you told us something that happened HERE.” 😜

Below are simple tweaks you can apply when you have a teachable story to share, yet you need to anonymize it.

️⚡Change the IRRELEVANT YET IDENTIFYING details.⚡

— Change the location
Perhaps the incident happened in a conference room and you say it was in a hallway. Doesn’t matter.

— Change the time.
Perhaps the incident happened in September, 2 years ago, or in the morning. Not important.

— Change amounts.
Perhaps there were 10 people at the meeting and you say, "There were about a dozen of us at the table.” Turn it up to 11. Whatevs.

— Change descriptions.
The color of an object, the gender of someone asking a question, food served at an event (e.g., "over a plate of dry chicken she asked me if.."), etc. can paint a new scene, so again, if it’s irrelevant yet identifying, swap it.

The goal is that if someone in the room was present when the real situation happened, you want them to think, “Oh yes, I’ve seen something similar,” and not, “Oh yes, I remember Jim Wilson’s trainwreck demo at the 2023 Winter Forum.”

Help them imagine possibilities rather than replay specifics.

Also, public shaming is not a teaching tool.

I usually change only one or two IRRELEVANT YET IDENTIFYING details to maintain the integrity of the original. If the real location, timing, gender, etc. are essential to the lesson, I keep them.

For those times when you can welcome the real person to share their full story in their own words, that’s powerful.

The rest of the time, when using someone else's mistakes to teach through example, let’s protect their identities.

>>>Tell me, can you think of any other IRRELEVANT YET IDENTIFYING details worth swapping?